I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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