was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
