im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
