i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
