lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
