The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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