She said her name was "party"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
