Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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