Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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