im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
