I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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