It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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