I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize