I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
