I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
