she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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