I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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