How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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