Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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