guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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