What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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