you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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