Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
they're like a gay fantastic four
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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