I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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