haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
