no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
