Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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