A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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