I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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