If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
420 ftw
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
