Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
