the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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