I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
