The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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