I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
