Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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