oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
