I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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