Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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