I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
