She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
