who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
