he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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