first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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