I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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