No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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