you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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