Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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