kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
