I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
