Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
