and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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