I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
