to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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