So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
