He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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