just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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