exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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