You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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