I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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