I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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