is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
