Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
